Courageous Moms and Dads

The Santa Family would like to wish all of you a very blessed and happy Easter.I hope that everyone who is reading this had an amazing Easter weekend! I know I did, very busy but great none the less. I was able to spend time with my family, Grandma Santa made the trip down from Penticton to share in the Easter egg hunt, I am sure that she will be at home resting from her mini vacation, she is not used to having 3 kids jump on her at 6am wanting to play Batman and Robin with Nerf shoot darts.

The most enjoyable part of the weekend was being able to see my mom play with the kids and to see the smiles on everyone’s face. It was however a bit sad in a way. I was watching my mom and realizing that she is not getting any younger,that being said she has not lost her passion to make people smile.

I remember when I was young and she was going through Chemotherapy for her Cancer. Single mom, 3 kids, Cancer, she would still find a way to make you smile, was and still is the most positive person I have ever met. I still can picture the day that she came home from the doctor when I was 12 and told us that she was going to have to have a Mastectomy, my sisters and I were crying and we worried for our mom. Mom looked us straight in the eye and said “You don’t have to worry about me, Cancer or any muggers”!  I asked  “What do Muggers have to do with anything” she said “ I will be fine because I have you kids, the Cancer can’t beat me and if I get mugged I can just tell them I am Flat Busted”. We all laughed and from that point on we knew she would be ok!

My wish is that everyone could be this positive with their lives. There are so many problems with the world today. Together with the attitude like Grandma Santa we could put a dent in allot of issues that plague us.

With it being Autism Awareness Day I would hope that each and every one of you find a tweet that is related to Autism and RT to spread the word. Unless you are in that world everyday  You have no idea what it is like to live with a child with Autism until you have one. I have so much respect for the parents that care for children and adults with Autism every day, I do know what it’s like and it makes you a stronger person. You are all amazing.

I know it’s difficult to go into stores, Restaurants, find babysitters for a night out and get schools that are willing to help knowing how difficult it may become. The worst part is the looks and stares that you get when you are out in public and have an episode, sheer ignorance. More often than not the adults are worst that the children. Can't tell you how many times I have heard someone say “what a brat” “why not smack that kid” “why would you bring a child in here when they are acting like that” and the best one is “that attitude comes from the parents”. There is so much ignorance that is associated with Autism or any neurological or physical disability that it’s disheartening to see, especially in this day and age of the internet and smartphones, you can look up anything and gain knowledge in seconds.

The next time you see a small child in the mall, restaurant or anywhere having a difficult time, please use some sense of common courtesy and think, maybe they are just having a bad day. To gain some knowledge and learn more about Autism please visit.

My personal favorite for what they have done for children with Autism

http://www.canucksautism.ca/        Twitter: @canucksautism

  1. Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism

2. California Autism Foundation

3. The Northwest Autism Foundation (NWAF)

4. UK Autism Foundation

5. RT Autism Awareness Foundation

6. Autism Delaware

7. Utah Autism Foundation

8. Parker Autism Foundation

9. Grant a Gift Foundation

10. Lowcountry Autism Foundation, Inc

Be kind to everyone you meet, Smile as it may be the only one someone sees all day

Santa

Dealing with Change

Change

Everyone at one point or another will experience change, it’s inevitable. How you deal with the change is completely up to you.

I have always thought that if you work hard and prove yourself the direction of your life will be just as you planned. I am learning now that this is not the case. Over the past few months I have been put in a position where I have to make a life choice regarding change. The hardest part, knowing that I have done all that I could but no matter what I do I will not be able to hang on to this job that I have and absolutely love. I know that this change is not common knowledge in the workplace at this point and I should not be talking about it but its weighing heavy on my mind. If you know Santa please don't say anything as I don't want to end my position earlier than it needs too. :)

 Knowing that my job will be ending hit me very hard in the past weeks , I have found myself letting my mind wander and beat myself up thinking what  more could I have done? The answer I found was “Nothing”! I have given my all and the issues of funding cuts and changes in policy have Zero to do with me.

I have decided that I will hit the ground running in my possible new position within the company and get myself back into a positive state and possibly  have a job that I love and will continue to carry on what I do! but who knows I might even do it better.

Can I honestly look myself in the mirror and ask the question “did you give 100% to your profession and the people you have been in trusted to help on your case list”? “Are my clients better off now than when I met them”?  The answer is YES!!!! Not to be conceded, but I am good at my job and I can take with me the fact that I did make a difference in people’s lives while I was here. And that was my whole goal when I started.

 There are so many positions in Healthcare that I can transition to; it’s just a matter of getting in that’s all.  I will guarantee, I will knock down every door until I do. I have not let this experience get me down and I will not let this define who I am or the work that I set out to do.

I am trying to deal with this change with decorum, dignity and poise, and most of all preserving my own self-respect! All the things that I have been preaching to my clients for so many years.

I will miss so many of them when the time comes, after a while they become family, I cannot conform to being a robot and shutting down feelings when it comes to people who have had Brain injuries, born with FASD , or those who are mired in a world that can’t be explained having Mental illness. All that I have described are people just like you or me but when I think back on all of the changes that these people suffer on a daily basis in their bodies with government funding or lack of resources, changes in workers.  a new Job is not so bad and I must sound trivial in being upset, unfortunately I am human.

Change is how you deal with it.!
Thank everyone for all of your support 

Self Harm

Self harm

This week was a tough week for me; I was witness to a young man who felt that the only way to ease his pain was to harm himself. Luckily we were able to talk with him, and keep him safe until the paramedics arrived to tend to his wounds. When arriving at the hospital the young man was disappointed that he was still here. Broke my heart to hear that. Not even yet an adult and with so much to live for but yet felt like he did not have any other choice. The young man has had multiple attempts in the past due to his substance use and mental illness. I just hope one of these times he doesn’t succeed.

I visited the young man the next morning; he was happy to see me and thanked us for the quick action and for staying with him during the whole ordeal. I asked him why he thanked me as I explained that that is what people that care do, stick beside someone regardless of the situation. The young man says he has never had that before and was shocked. The young man explained to me why he did it. He stated “my grandfather would not bring me Marijuana or Meth and I just wanted to go to a happy place for 30 minutes or so”. After talking with him I have learned that this had been normal routine with the drugs and alcohol since the boy was 11 and when he was denied the substance it threw him into a state of panic. It’s sad to think that a family member, who is supposed to be a role model and a mentor, was role modeling the dangerous and obviously harmful behavior. The young man will have another reminder of his situation and the pain that he feels on a daily basis, 40 surgical staples on each arm extending from the base of his wrist to the bend in the elbow.

The young man broke down when we talked and says to me, “why can’t I just feel like I belong, why can’t I just be loved like other people my age” My response, “you are loved and cared about that’s why I am here and as for belonging, you are not in heaven so you must still belong here with us” he laughed and thanked me once again.

If you ever notice someone who is doing things to themselves that could be considered self-harm, let them know that you care and that you are glad they are a part of your daily lives. Most people just want to belong and feel wanted.  

Self-harm can manifest in so many ways, here is just a few

 - Cutting

- Single / repeated overdoses

- Disfiguration of the body

- Swallowing sharp objects or foreign objects

- Inserting foreign objects into the body

- Swallowing poisonous substances

- Hair-pulling

- Head banging

- Scratching

- Excessive scrubbing of skin e.g. with sandpaper, scourers, Chinese rubs etc.

- Burning with cigarettes

- Alcohol/drug abuse

- Eating disorders

- Repeated attempted suicide

Please be a friend to someone who may need it. There is so much negativity, and for my young friend let’s make this world his happy place so that he does not have to harm himself again to try and find it.

Santa

Using one brush to paint a picture

Not sure how to approach this subject this week. Do I cut to the chase and just say I think there is too much hate in this world and people are too easy to pass judgment? Or do I take a conservative approach in an attempt to not hurt anyone’s feelings. DIRECT ROUTE!!

So often the world is quick to pass judgment on others based on the preconceived ideas that we have.  I would love to see a day when we could all get along and not look down on others, I know that will never happen, I am not naive enough to think that one day the whole world will live in harmony and we will have gigantic love ins all the time,but we can start by caring for others around us , hey you never know where it may lead.

When is the last time you have heard an off side comment regarding someone you don’t know and not take the time to defend that person for the sake of not offending a friend, family member, co-worker or simply the person making the comment. I was shocked and appalled the other day when I heard a young person make fun a man who was trying to have his lunch who obviously had Tourettes Syndrome. I could see the man was barely affected by the comments, which tell me this is not the first time he has been made fun of and probably would not be the last. To me this was shocking, here is a person who wants so desperately to be a part of the community and live a normal life and can’t even go for lunch without being degraded and ridiculed for something that he cannot control.  I found myself becoming angry, I could feel my blood boil at that point. I took a moment to compose myself as I knew if I had gone over and said something half-cocked, I would not have been nice, not that they deserved my nice side. I took my food and politely sat down at the table with the 2 young men. I think they may have pee’d a little when a man 6’4” 270 lbs. came and sat unannounced at their table. I calmly stated to the men who I was introduced myself and asked them why they thought that it was funny to be making fun of others? Their reply “HUH? What does it matter to you what we said?” I explained to the young men that I was not there to pass judgment on them, I was not going to harm them, I just wanted them to defend their comments and explain what makes a person say hurtful things to others for pure enjoyment? After getting off to a slow start I was able to gather information from one of the boys past, he told me that he had a disabled sister and he did not defend the man from his friend because as he grew up he was taught to ignore the problem and it would go away from his parents. I am not saying that his parents were wrong (well maybe I am) but by avoiding the issue and not educating the people around you to the disorder or disability just spawns more hated because then people develop preconceived and misinformed information about what the issues are. With my background in Mental Health, I explained Tourettes Syndrome to the young men. I paid for their lunch and left. As I was leaving I overheard the young men approach the man with Tourettes and apologize for their actions.

I am not saying that will be the last time the boys will make fun of someone , or the man with Tourettes will not have to endure ridicule while in public but what I can say is that even if it was just for one meal , that man felt like he belonged and was welcome.

The moral of the story I guess is that when you see someone who is being bullied or being made fun of , take the time to say something , let a voice be heard for those who have been beat down for so long and do not have the energy to defend themselves.

We all were born the same way and should be treated as such regardless of your ability or disability.  

Santa’s picks for follows of the week

@FMSPCA @A_forbes  @shaimadas @CJCJ95 @vancanucks @Mindcheck_ca @4HUMANITEEs

These are just a few that have taken the time to promote harmony, wellness, positive education and compassion for the people and animals of the world.

SANTA  

OPEN YOUR MIND

Have you ever wanted to be perfect? Why? Once you achieve perfection there is nowhere else to go.

I find myself especially drawn to a fantastic site called mindcheck.ca. I am not drawn to the site because it’s part of the Canucks and the NHL but because it’s a fantastic way for people to self-evaluate or evaluate people you may fear have depression. Depression is not seen as a disability, what it should be seen as is DEBILITATING.

As a person who suffered a severe neck injury and multiple concussions when I was younger and a finely tuned athlete (at least that what I tell people) I can still to this day say that I suffer from the after effects 23 years later. I feel that I was one of the lucky ones that had a strong supporting cast behind me to get me through the dark days, some are not as lucky.

As often as a young man I wished that someone would ask me “what do you want to do?” “How can I help you?”, “do you want to talk?”Instead of “how are you doing?” I know that sounds strange but when you are asked 10-20 times per day “How are you doing” it becomes redundant and makes you feel like shutting down and not talking about the issue at hand.

The best advice that I can give someone is that if you ever feel like a friend, family member or co-worker is suffering from depression, ask the tough questions, and don’t give Advice! You should be there to listen to what the person has to say.

Be concerned if your loved one...

    Doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore.

    Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody.

    Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities.

    Talks about feeling “helpless” or “hopeless.”

    Expresses a bleak or negative outlook on life.

    Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain.

    Complains of feeling tired and drained all the time.

    Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.

    Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps.

    Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.

    Has become indecisive, forgetful, disorganized, and “out of it.”

    Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkiller

Ways to start the conversation:

    I have been feeling concerned about you lately.

    Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.

    I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed pretty down lately.

Questions you can ask:

    When did you begin feeling like this?

    Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?

    How can I best support you right now?

    Have you thought about getting help

I as many of you have wished that I could wave a magic wand, find a genie in a bottle or win the lottery to change my whole life so that things would be different. Now I find myself wondering why I would want to change my life’s path , I would not be who I am today if I did not have the trials and tribulations that I have endured over my life time , I would not have Mrs. Santa , and I would not have my Kids .

A special thanks to all the mental health care providers that help to save lives and educate on a daily basis

Thank to Mr Kevin Bieksa for his hard work bring light to the ones suffering the Dark Days  

@mindcheck_ca

@VanCanucks